


Dead Boy, Dead Eyes

by reguluscore



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bisexual James Potter, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Regulus Black Deserves Better, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black is a Good Sibling, Sirius Black is a Little Shit, it is sad okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:54:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28887162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reguluscore/pseuds/reguluscore
Summary: The first thing James noticed about people were their eyes. Sirius' were bright but had secrets he'd never share buried beneath. Remus' were soft and gentle yet held such fierce troubles. Peter's were shy and nervous but held a light within them. Lily's were beautiful and smart, Marlene's were secretive, Mary's were loud.But he had never seen eyes like his, Regulus Black.His eyes? Looked dead.
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 80





	Dead Boy, Dead Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I am still not a writer but this idea has been in my drafts for months so here we go

James Potter has always been a perceptive person. He always looked and watched people, he tended to notice things others often overlooked. Such as the fact that Remus had 3 small, even scars on his left wrist, or how Sirius' left hand shook whenever someone mentioned mothers. He just noticed things. Always had, for as long as he could remember. 

That didn't stop as he grew up. His friend group got larger, and he more often then not, watched. He knew Peter hated the cold because it made his ears bother him, and Marlene fiddled with her necklace whenever she was focused. He watched as Mary had to use different styles of notes for each class, and how Lily often would bob her head to a beat nobody else heard. 

James was never sure how much watching was good, or if it was borderline creepy. He tried to stop, but his brain would catch onto the things anyways, pushing them to the front of his mind because knowing his friends was far more important that Divination homework. 

By his 4th year, he stopped trying to stop it. It helped far more than anything, especially when it came to Sirius and Remus. 

James was the one who noticed every new scar Remus came back with, and how he was often "sick" at the same point every month. He was the one who noticed Remus' eyes widen with panic when someone mentioned the moon, and how his breathing cut short when Marlene brought up "dark creatures" during dinner. 

James was the one who noticed Sirius' not eating after a christmas break, and how he could barely meet anyone's eye. He noticed how he started to flinch whenever Mary reached to ruffle his hair, and how he started to study far more than he ever had before. 

James noticed before anyone that his friends needed his help, and all from simply sitting and watching. 

So, he didn't stop watching. 

He watched as first years came in, nervous and on edge, how some of them slumped over when they got sorted into slytherin, or how some would sit up taller and put on a brave face when sorted into gryffindor. 

He watched as a boy in his charms class often tapped his fingers in a steady beat whenever he was anxious, and how a girl had taken to wearing her hair up after a boy complimented her. 

He watched and watched. And noticed again and again. 

A group of girls often snuck out of the ravenclaw dorms at the same time every saturday. Two hufflepuff boys passed a bag of green, something to another group of boys. 

It was fun, especially since more often then not, James met new people. 

The first thing he noticed about people were their eyes. Sirius' were bright but had secrets he'd never share buried beneath. Remus' were soft and gentle yet held such fierce troubles. Peter's were shy and nervous but held a light within them. Lily's were beautiful and smart, Marlene's were secretive, Mary's were loud.

Their eyes always showed something, anything. Stories, songs, colors, anything and everything. A pair of eyes could show a whole world he wasn't aware of before. A pair of eyes could make you fall in love with someone. A pair of eyes could show hate, power, words they'll never say, secrets they don't want to keep. 

Eyes were equally the most beautiful and terrifying thing you could notice. 

And he noticed. 

But he had never seen eyes like his, Regulus Black. 

His eyes? Looked dead. 

The first time James saw his eyes, he froze. Standing in front of his was a 12 year old boy, his best friends brother. 

James had heard stories from Sirius, how he and his brother used to run around his house and pretend to slay dragons, how they stayed up late during the summers to watch the stars. He heard about how Regulus would still run around some nights, out in their garden, chasing lightning bugs and hoping to reach said stars. 

The boy in front of him looked nothing of what he pictured in the stories. 

He looked as he was described, long hair, awkwardly tall for his age, he had the Black features, he looked like Narcissa more than he looked like Sirius. But he looked like a Black through and through, in his Slytherin robes that looked as if they were tailored perfectly for him, and the way his hair framed his face in a way no other 12 year old boys would. 

But his eyes are what made James pause. 

In his 14 years of life, James had seen many people, heard stories and noticed things. 

But here before him was a 12 year old by, a child, who looked as if he had already faced death. 

James was not an expert, but he was sure that wasn't right. 

He knew the Black family had their problems, but Sirius said Regulus was _fine, okay,_ they treated him _well_. 

Regulus' eyes told a different story. 

Hollow, like there was no light behind them, and that there hadn't been for years, that there wouldn't ever be. Scared, tired, defeated. His eyes were grey, but looked darker in the lighting. The bags under his eyes were not normal for a child so young, but they were there, dark, hiding troubles a 12 year old should never have to carry. 

James wanted to look longer, harder. See exactly what those people could have done to him to make his eyes so gone, but he couldn't. 

Regulus turned away, walking off the the Slytherin common room, and James was left alone with his thoughts and wondering how he'd get to look into his eyes again. 


End file.
